Today is July 4, 2022.
In the United States of America, we celebrate Independence Day, the day in 1776 when the Second Continental Congress formally adopted the Declaration of Independence.
That document was a formal statement justifying to the rest of the world the 13 American colonies break with Great Britain.
The Revolutionary War was already in full swing. The fighting between the colonies’ revolutionaries and British troops had been going on for over a year at this point, so England knew what these 13 colonies were thinking about the rule of King George III.
It wasn’t until October 19, 1781, that all guns fell silent—Cornwallis had surrendered at the Battle of Yorktown. The war was over.
Even still, it took until September 3, 1783, for Great Britain to formally recognized the independence of the United States in the Treaty of Paris.
As I was thinking of The Declaration of Independence this weekend, I started to formulate my own Declaration of Independence.
What independence am I asserting for myself right now? What are my “grievances” that need to be formally adopted? Who do I need to tell?
The exciting part for me is that I don’t really need to tell anyone, and yet here I am telling you. 🙂
So in very rough-draft form, here is the beginning of my own personal Declaration of Independence. Really it is just the formative thoughts that will lead to my declaration. These are the areas of independence I am creating for myself:
- Independence from the added, and unnecessary level of suffering in my life that comes from my thoughts of self-judgment and self-criticism.
- Independence from the worry and anxiety that my brain likes to conjure up and offer to me regularly.
- Independence from trying to control everything – because, as much as I hate to admit it, I can’t.
- Independence from the expectations of those around me and most importantly the expectations that I place on myself. Freedom from the “shoulds” and “coulds” that my thoughts can create.
- Independence from the “compare and despair” cycle that follows my comparison with others. I don’t need to compete with anyone. The only person I choose to compare myself against is the person I was yesterday.
- Independence from the opinions of others. People who can trigger my emotions have power over me. I want to choose wisely to who I will give that power.
- Independence of staying calm. Staying calm is the superpower of the strong.
- Independence in my relationships. This allows me to show up how I want to rather than spending so much energy on how the other person needs to show up for me to feel a certain way.
- Independence in how I choose to respond to any given situation. I can stop reacting like it is out of my control.
- Independence in my own emotional health and wellbeing.
Now, as lovely and empowering as these may sound I am still in the middle of this revolution. Yes, the revolution started for me years ago and I have made so much progress towards the person I am choosing to become. At the same time I can also recognize that the person that I am today is imperfectly perfect just as I am while choosing to create something new.
The Declaration of Independence did not mark the end of the Revolutionary War. In fact, there were many more years before the British relented. The same is true for my own declarations.
In some ways, my battle for independence in these areas will continue to be like losing and/or gaining ground in this pursuit. And my declaration allows me to join forces with others around me who can aid and support me as I do.
I’m Michelle. I am learning how to minimize my overwhelm, perfectionism, and people-pleasing and I am ready to help you do the same. I’m a certified Life Coach and a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Come with me and learn how.
Maybe one day those former thoughts and behaviors will surrender and no longer show up for the fight. But even if that day never comes, I can gain the strength and character to respond more often than react, to trust my own inner wisdom more than the opinions of others, to let go of self-criticism and show up with more self-compassion. I am fully certain that as I move through this process I will be able to cultivate the desired “internal freedom” that I want more of in my life.
I have spent the past two years learning and coaching hundreds of people on how to create their own independence as well. It is a continual process but one that we can develop. “Contact Me” and send me a quick email if you would like to create more independence for yourself. We can discuss your “grievances” and ways to create change. If you prefer, you can “Schedule a Consult” for a free session to discuss what you want to work towards and how to get started.
In the meantime, I will be enjoying a hotdog and ice cream before I find a beautiful fireworks display to revel in!!
Happy Independence Day!!!
And as always…..Remember…..It’s ALL good!!….. In the end!!! If it’s not good, it’s not the end!