The month of November ended.
I managed to accomplish my goal; not in a “perfect” manner, but in a “perfect for me” way. I posted 28 out of 31 days nearly consecutively.
I learned some things about writing. I learned some things about “posting”. I learned some things about myself.
And abruptly, with one text, life changed.
It has been rainy, cloudy, and overcast for 3 days. Not typical Arizona weather.
Saturday I was waiting for the rain to let up so I could go running. It never really did completely so I just went running in the rain at 8pm.
It was a different kind of soothing to run in the rain. It was as if some of the emotions and swirling thoughts could dissolve in the raindrops. It wasn’t quite as heavy as I ran.
Monday morning when I went for my run a thick fog was blanketing the area. It was dark when I left so I wore a head lamp. It was fascinating to me that in the beam of light from the lamp, water appeared to be suspended in air. It wasn’t raining actively but the air itself was filled with water.
It was nearly imperceptible the way the world went from “dark” to “light”. Perhaps that was because the light was not the light I was used to or even the light I wanted. And yet it was not “dark”.
That is the way my heart and mind felt.
And the clearing of “dark” to “light” seems similar as well.
It is heavy, and thick….this emotional fog.
Sometimes there is cleansing rain in the form of tears. Sometimes it just feels like the fog.
It continues to move through phases of “dark” and “light” and the best I can do for now is keep moving forward, trusting that the clouds will break, the fog will lift and the sunlight will return.
Maybe then I will be able to see a rainbow.
Today it is hard but I am trying to remember…..Remember…..It’s ALL good!!
I’m Michelle. I am learning how to minimize my overwhelm, perfectionism, and people-pleasing and I am ready to help you do the same. I’m a certified Life Coach and a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Come with me and learn how.