Welcome to the first of my monthly topics – Goals and Sustainability.
This may be more than I can cover in one month but that’s okay. It is not that I can tell you everything, mostly because I don’t know everything :). But we can start a discussion around goals and sustainability. Especially in our four areas of focus: spiritual, physical, emotional, and intellectual.
Where to begin?
I like that the spiritual perspective gives me more understanding in this area.
I enjoyed a talk given by Elder M. Russell Ballard of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints back in April of 2017 entitled “Return and Receive”.
In my faith practice as a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, I agree with Elder Ballard’s idea and believe that even God, or our Heavenly Parents, have goals.
I also loved that he differentiates the difference between a goal and a plan.
To quote from his address, “Goal setting is essentially beginning with the end in mind. And planning is devising a way to get to that end.”
He then teaches that God is the perfect example of goal setting and planning.
What is the goal of our Heavenly Parents you ask? The goal is “to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man {and woman} (Pearl of Great Price, Moses 1:39).
What is the plan? It’s the plan of salvation.
Our Heavenly Parents’ plan involved us coming to earth to learn, grow and develop in this physical mortality to become more like Them. This plan provides a way for us to be perfected, in and through the Atonement of the Savior Jesus Christ.
This goal of my Heavenly Parents is a large reason “why” for me. It is an overarching part of all the other goals that I decide for myself.
When I have this “end” in mind, it influences all the areas of my life if I will let it.
So why goals? I believe that part of this “divine plan” is for me to learn to work with and manage my physical body and mind. They are gifts from my Heavenly Parents for me to use to come to know myself better. I don’t believe God wants us to become something different than we are (Just my belief, and may be unpopular), but truly to become more of who we were created to be.
As I have tried to reach goals, especially when I include God in the process, I have learned more about myself. I have discovered strengths and weaknesses in myself. I have uncovered and begun to develop talents. I have cultivated interests into talents.
The challenging part for me is when my humanness comes up against my eternalness.
My humanness has a brain that is evolutionarily designed to keep me safe and alive. I will refer to it as the “Motivational Triad”. Dr. Douglas J. Lisle and Dr. Alan Goldhamer developed this theory that this is the means that has increased our odds of survival over time.
It consists of three parts:
- Seek Pleasure
- Avoid Pain
- Do both of those with the least amount of effort possible
Sounds like no big deal until it comes into conflict with my divine, eternal spirit. I believe that my true, divine, eternal self is designed for continual growth.
I call it the “Eternal Triad”. It also has three parts:
- To learn to embrace pain (physical and emotional)
- To delay gratification or pleasure to achieve a higher goal
- And to learn how to generate and utilize energy in my pursuit of those things
As these two seemingly opposing systems come against each other, this is where the greatest growth can occur. I learn to appreciate what my human design affords me, namely comfort and safety. And I am willing to forgo those things to continue learning and growing and progressing as I discover, or remember, more of myself…..sometimes!
As I learn more about setting goals, and the most effective way for me to do that, I continue to learn more about myself. And when my goals are set from a perspective of challenging, growing, and learning more about myself rather than the need to “fix”, “improve” or “prove” my worth through accomplishment, I am much more likely to continue when I encounter obstacles along the way.
That is how I create sustainability.
So why goals? I believe that part of this “divine plan” is for me to learn to work with and manage my physical body and mind. They are gifts from my Heavenly Parents for me to use to come to know myself better. I don’t believe God wants us to become something different than we are (Just my belief, and may be unpopular), but truly to become more of who we were created to be.
I’m Michelle. I am learning how to minimize my overwhelm, perfectionism, and people-pleasing and I am ready to help you do the same. I’m a certified Life Coach and a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Come with me and learn how.
As these two seemingly opposing systems come against each other, this is where the greatest growth can occur. I learn to appreciate what my human design affords me, namely comfort and safety. And I am willing to forgo those things to continue learning and growing and progressing as I discover, or remember, more of myself…..
sometimes!
The old model of motivation in my goals while effective for a time, is no longer sustainable. That model led me to diminish the things I did achieve, treat myself poorly if I didn’t achieve, and more often than not give up on the goal to avoid the self-deprecation that was inevitable.
When I focus on what God wants for me, simply to recognize and become more of the person I was created to be, I can accept and love myself where I am AND still want to learn and grow more.
In truth, it is easier said than done. But the more I practice this sustainability model, the more change I can see in myself. And the road to get there is a lot more peaceful, and enjoyable along the way.
And that reminds me that God also intended for me to have joy in this life as well as the life to come.
I must remind myself that maybe my “motto” isn’t entirely true in this instance.
“It’s ALL good…. in the end. If it’s not good it’s not the end.”
While that idea is still true for all our goals, it can also be good along the way. After all, part of the reason for the goal is to see the person we become in the process of achieving our desired outcome. The person that is more of our true self.
So remember, when it comes to goals …..It’s ALL good!!